Jessica Aszkenasy answers our questions ahead of TITCLOWN: daddy’s litte girl heading to the Edinburgh Festival Fringe

TITCLOWN with daddy’s little girl is a furious, fearless hour of clowning about desire, heartbreak and the politics of being loved. Centred around a faceless dummy in a suit known only as “Daddy”, the show unpicks power, femininity and modern dating through voice notes, silent-film projections, costume changes and anarchic theatrical comedy. Provocative and playful, it explores the messy collision between intimacy, performance and gender politics. We spoke with performer Jessica Aszkenasy about the patriarchal gaze, Gaulier training and what OnlyFans has taught her about desire.

TITCLOWN: daddy's little girl begins with a faceless dummy called Daddy. Why did that become the centre of the show?

Ha ha. About a year ago I read a book called “The Wounded Woman” by Linda Schierse. In it, she describes how almost every woman has what she calls a “father wound” on the micro (as in, from her own father) and on a macro (the Societal Father) level as we live in a patriarchal society blah blah blah. I wanted to explore what that could look like on stage. The Dummy is the physical representation of the patriarchal gaze every woman internalises, the father who watches over, and also the recipient of her affection. I made him faceless so the audience can project on to him however the show makes them (hopefully) feel.

The show explores desire, but also disappointment. What interests you about the relationship between the two?

I think many women go into heterosexual dynamics with a fantasy of the love they hope to receive from their partner, and are confronted by the reality of what conditioning does to men. It takes a lot of emotional resilience/hope/delusion to stay with someone who repeatedly hurts you and demonstrates very little interest in knowing you beyond the labour you can provide for them. If you zoom out a bit and take away the judgement, why would one stay with a partner who desires them but has no real interest in knowing them? It’s such a bizarre dynamic. And what would drive you to keep going back for more?

What has training with Philippe Gaulier given you as a performer?

Risk taking. “Always go bigger” is a mantra that’s used often at that school. If you’re going on stage don’t be small. Which is so fun! The school places the joy of the performer at the centre of the training. Gaulier was very good at weeding out those who want to impress vs those experiencing actual joy on stage. If your performance isn’t coming from a place that brings you pleasure, it’s going to be “fucking boring” as he would say. Even if, technically, the performance is very good. Before I went to Gaulier I did stand up and I found it so joyless. When I’m trying to make a bit or a show and I feel a bit lost, I always go back to “am I finding this fun?”

What has OnlyFans taught you about desire that mainstream culture tends to get wrong?

That desire doesn’t have to look like a 6 ft, size zero, blonde model, or like, Zoey Deschannel. And that, sexually, a lot of us are quite a lot more interesting than society gives us credit for. Male desire has a lot more depth than what stereotypical porn portrays. I think we absorb a lot of messaging that leaves us all so disconnected from ourselves and what we truly desire. It leaves us very scared and lonely.

The show explores the gap between how women are seen and how they experience themselves. Is that tension something you've always been conscious of as an artist?

Tension is where the interesting stuff is. Being a victim is boring. Being the oppressor is also boring, and none of us are wholly either one or the other. We can yell about the patriarchy until the cows come home, and of course there are always power imbalances and skewered dynamics at play, but ultimately everyone is the main agent in their life. What I find the most interesting is how we deal with these dynamics, how we placate them, how they hurt us, how we use them, how we enjoy them. I think that’s what being human is all about.

Who is the show written for? Who is your ideal target audience?

My ideal target audience is everyone who’s ever been in love. I would love for everyone to be able to find something for themselves in my work. Whether or not that’s the case, I have no idea. I have seen 60-year-old blokes laugh at my stuff though so I do think it’s possible. I’ve had quite strong responses from women who’ve seen my WIPS. Men tend to be scared, but curious. Ha ha.

You had a really strong response to TITCLOWN at last year's Fringe. Did that success make returning with a new show feel exciting or terrifying?

Super exciting! I felt that with TITCLOWN I was just getting started. Last year I was really learning how to make a show, what it meant to invest in your art, how a show could and should change during the festival. I was also coming up to Edinburgh off the back of a bit of a health crisis (I have Long Covid and have relapses every so often when I’ve overdone it). This year I’m in a much better place with my health and with my business. I feel way more confident. I never thought I’d say this but I’m absolutely buzzing to go up!

What questions were you trying to answer when you started making this show, and did you discover a different question by the end?

I wasn’t really trying to answer any questions, beyond how the fuck do I make these complex and quite heavy feelings into a clown show that will make people laugh. The show is a reflection of where my mind has been over the past year and a half after ending a relationship. It’s autobiographical, but it’s also entirely abstract. I feel things, make them into a show, then I move on. The question that’s currently rattling around in my mind is what do I want to do next…

TITCLOWN: daddy’s little girl will be performed at 10:45pm at Summerhall from 6th – 31st August. Booking link:https://festival.summerhallarts.co.uk/events/titclown-daddys-little-girl/